It’s a moment for the scrapbook – your baby’s first ever haircut.
Perhaps it's a quick snip with the kitchen scissors, or a trip to the local hairdresser's. Either way it might feel like a case of ‘let’s get through this in one piece’, rather than any serious attempt at styling, especially if your child is feeling nervous or fearful about a trim.
We spoke to clinical psychologist Linda Blair to get some tips on how you can help your little one stay calm during their first time at the barber’s or hairdresser’s…
When should your baby have their first haircut?
What’s the best age for a baby’s first haircut?
There is no specific age you should start to cut your baby’s hair. It’s entirely up to you (and, of course, how quickly your baby’s hair grows).
You may choose to get the scissors or clippers out when the hair starts to interfere with their adventurous lifestyle – if it’s getting in the way of their eyes, in particular.
Another factor to consider is the ‘wriggliness’ of your child and whether they can hold themselves upright. If they can’t sit still, you may want to wait a little longer.
All considered, some parents go for an initial cut within the first year, whereas others wait until 18 months or longer! One boy from Scarborough waited until he was 11 years old to have his hair cut for charity.
When’s the best age to take your child for a professional haircut?
Again, you know your child best.
Consider the environment they’ll be in – unfamiliar, potentially noisy, lots of with strangers. There are ways to soften these factors, as you’ll see below, but take your time, consider your child’s social and emotional needs and know that you’ll make the best decision for them.
How to cut your baby’s hair at home
If you don’t think your child is ready for the trip to a professional barber’s or hairdresser’s, or you think it’s unnecessary, you can cut their hair at home.
Of course, unless you have certain training, the final result might lack finesse, but they won’t care too much about their hairstyle until they’re at least four or five years old!
Should I use scissors or clippers? Both have their positives and negatives. Scissors are quiet, but you might feel nervous using them around an especially wriggly baby. Clippers have safety guards, but often make a lot of noise which might upset your baby.
Scissors will give you more control with longer hair, whereas clippers are best for keeping the haircut close to the skin.
You can wait until your child is able to sit relatively still, which might make the decision easier for you.
How to prepare for your baby’s first haircut
Psychologist Linda Blair has some essential tips for parents looking for a stress-free trip to the salon.
Try not to show your anxiety
Babies, toddlers and young children are always looking to their parents for guidance, so naturally they’re very good at picking up on expressions and behaviours. If you're feeling anxious about something, they’ll start to feel anxious too.
“You’re handing over your child to someone else's control, so it's normal to worry. But try not to show it - a lot of the reason kids get anxious is because they feel their parents are anxious,” Linda explains.
Try to be enthusiastic and positive about a planned trip, even if you’re feeling a little apprehensive about it - this will rub off on your child. However, don't overdo it…
“Be careful not to get too hyper,” Linda says. “Although children are pretty good at interpreting negative emotions versus positive emotions, they're better at picking up on intensity of emotion.
“So, if you're saying, ‘WOW, THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GREAT!’, that can be as frightening as if the parent was really anxious. It's a fun thing: ‘Wow, isn't this nice?’ ‘You're going to get to do what Mummy and Daddy do.’”
Choose a child-friendly hairdresser’s
Take the time to do some research online or ask friends and family for advice about where to go.
“Somewhere they’re experienced with young children,” Linda suggests. “Or even your own hairdresser if you feel that they also have that experience, because you have the added familiarity.”
Make it sound interesting and exciting
The way you talk about haircuts can have a big impact on your child’s feeling towards an appointment. You know what might frighten or excite your child, but Linda has some suggestions…
“Be careful of the words you use,” she says. “If you're getting your hair ‘cut’, that may be a quite a scary thing when you're little. But if you're getting it ‘trimmed’ or ‘styled’, well, those are new, interesting words!”
“You can also talk about it as a mark that they're growing up. All little kids want to grow up!”
“’We're going to take a big boy or a big girl step. You’re going to be like Mummy and Daddy and you're going to get your hair trimmed, shaped or styled.’”
Bring them along to your next haircut and use pretend play
If you have a trip to the barber’s or hairdresser’s planned, you might want to take your child along before their own appointment.
“That way they'll already be used to a salon and they'll be used to seeing that Mummy or Daddy has their hair touched,” Linda says.
And at home, you could also involve the idea of haircuts into playtime using role play.
“Let your child play with hair implements - I wouldn't go for scissors, but the brushes and the combs would be great.
“You could even do a mock-up session where you put a little apron on your child in a chair and brush their hair.
“Then reverse the roles and let your child brush your hair and put the apron on you, so it all becomes a fun game.”
How to keep your baby calm during their first haircut
The day is finally upon you and it’s time to take your little one to the hairdresser’s. You’re full of enthusiasm and positive chat, but what else can you do on the day to help your child fight off any nerves?
Take a blanket or a teddy from home
“It's important at that age that they have what we call a ‘transitional object’ - something from home that they love,” Linda explains.
This might be their favourite blanket or stuffed toy. Anything that gives them a sense of security and the smell of home.
Talk to the hairdresser
Strangers can be scary. If you’ve chosen to take your child to your own hairdresser’s, your familiarity with the environment and staff will help, but if not, there is still more you can do on the day.
“Greet the hairdresser positively,” Linda says. “Again, not with hyper enthusiasm, but with positivity and have a little chat perhaps.”
“You could bring your child into the conversation if you wish. But just demonstrate to your child what a nice person this is.”
And you could also use this as an opportunity to subtly ask the hairdresser if there are any considerations they can make for your child: “Perhaps a quieter corner or a place where the child feels that they're the priority,” Linda suggests.
Celebrate the small wins
This is about celebrating the inchstones, rather than the milestones.
“Don't focus so much on what you’re going to accomplish this first time. Just a small cut will do,” Linda says. “This is just to get them used to the process.”
Linda suggests that you might want to follow this up immediately with some kind of hair-related reward. "Maybe a hair ribbon or a comb or something they can take away with them. That way you've created a transitional object in the other direction.”
Don’t worry if it doesn’t go to plan
If your trip to the hairdresser’s wasn’t all smooth sailing – maybe your child became overwhelmed and had a tantrum – don’t be hard on yourself. In all likelihood, it’s something the professionals have seen many times before.
You may feel like, after all, it is too soon for your child to go to the hairdresser’s. It’s okay to realise this after the fact! You could continue to cut their hair at home, or, as Linda suggests, “Find a hairdresser who can come to the house. Follow all the same preparation, but just have the appointment in their own home.”
After the haircut
If your child had a relatively positive experience at the hairdresser’s, there are ways to extend that enthusiasm for next time.
Linda says, “I would keep the memory of the haircut alive. When you look in mirrors together or when you’re brushing their hair, give them lots of praise about how nice they look.”
And if your child didn’t enjoy their time at the hairdresser’s, Linda suggests having a little chat about it afterwards: “Make sure it doesn't look like failure. For example, say, ‘You know what, I thought the hairdresser’s was a bit noisy. So, shall we have a hairdresser come to our house? Would you like that?’”
“They'll get there. If it didn't work now, try again in six months.”
“Please don't worry about what your sister's kids are doing, or most especially what the other people at nursery tell you their kids are doing.”
“Your kid is your kid. Give them time. They'll never be little again and you want them to enjoy each stage of growing up at their own pace.
“Consistency, love, calm reassurance and patience. You'll get there.”
Saving a lock of hair: A special keepsake
As well as photos, you may want to keep a special reminder of your baby’s first haircut with a lock of hair.
Hair doesn’t need any special preservation if it’s kept in a relatively dry environment, so you may want to pick out a small container, such as a glass vial, jewellery box or locket. To hold the lock together, you might also choose to use string or decorative thread.
